The Forgotten Boy
by Strollingdog
Summary: Just my OC Alice thrown into the Dragon Age Inquisition world. She meets all of our loveable companions and has to try to help save the world. Cole/OC.
1. Chapter 1

Hello all. I have been playing a TON of Inquisition since it came out. I love it. The only thing that is a slight drag is the fact that Cole isn't a romance option. I absolutely love Cole so I thought I'd make him a romance option for my OC. Hopefully you guys like it and please let me know how you think it is. Negative feedback is welcome but let's use some manners shall we? Alright here's my first chapter.

OC from our time gets sent to the world of the Inquisition. Once there she meets all of our loveable companions plus the Inquisitor. Set right before the sack of Haven.

Chapter One

Hello. My name is Alice and this is the condensed version of what happened...wait. Why am I giving you the condensed version? Well because if I gave you the long version then we'd be here a whole chapter learning all about my other life that will have absolutely no barring on the story I'm about to tell! Anyway where was I...?

Ahh yes. The condensed version.

Hello. My name is Alice. I'm just a regular 19 year old college student. Pretty boring right? Yeah I thought so too. Until one night ago I was just sitting in my living room, unwrapping my new copy of Dragon Age Inquisition, when I'm pulled into the game! I'm not even kidding.

Okay I know it sounds like a load of crap but I'm serious. One second I'm opening my case and the next I'm sitting on top of some strange woman I've never met in the Inquisition world. As you can imagine the lady and the surrounding people that witnessed me pop into existence were pretty freaked out. Some guards were called. Some priests preformed exorcisms. I was thrown in jail. It was a pretty big deal. Anyway that was the condensed version. And also where I will pick up telling my story. Can you believe I've been waiting forever to play this game and instead I get to LIVE it? I'm slightly upset that I'll never get to play it. On to the main event!

*Story*

I sat shivering under a thin blanket that the guards thought to give me before I was placed in the jail cell the night before. No one has come in or out since the last priest that came in early that morning to "exorcise" me. I wish they would let me out. It's pretty obvious I'm not a demon. If I were then I wouldn't have allowed them to lock me up like this. People in the Dragon Age really have no problem solving skills.

I took one of my small, pale hands out from under the thin blanket and swiped some of my dark bangs out of my eyes before I looked around the small area for the thousandth time. I was in one of about five cells that set in the poorly lit dungeon. There were no signs that anyone other than me has occupied this space in quite some time. I looked forlornly towards the entrance to my prison only to see the door remain still and shut like it had been for quite some time.

I brought my legs up to my chest and buried my head in my knees. This wasn't fair. It wasn't my fault that I fell out of thin air. I'm pretty upset about it too. If they would only give me a chance to explain then I'd...I actually seriously doubt I'd tell them the truth. If I told them that I thought that I fell into a videogame that coincidently is their entire world then I'm fairly certain they'd lock me away for the rest of my days.

Sighing I raised my head off my knees and wiped film off my eyes. "Sighing. Indicating fatigue. Her spirit asked me here but now that I'm here it won't answer."

"Ahh!" I screamed as I scrambled up on my feet and turned to where I heard the voice beside me but there was only an empty cell. I moved forward and held onto the bars as I looked around the entire prison with wide eyes , searching for someone who belonged to the voice. The room was still darkly lit but I was certain there was no one in the room but me.

Sighing once more I let go of the bars, shut my eyes, and shook my head. "I'm going insane sitting here so long in the silence," I whispered to myself. I opened my eyes and looked back up but instead of an empty cell, like I thought there would be, there was a man standing less than three inches from my face. I screamed again and backed into the wall. The man was looking at me with his head cocked to the side and the most curious look was on his pale face. He had dark rimmed eyes and was wearing the biggest hat on his light colored hair.

"She called but she didn't call. I'm needed though I can't hear her. Why can't I hear you," the man said and moved up to my face just as close as before. "I can always hear. Like water running through a babbling river. So much noise. Yet no noice. Why isn't there any noise?"

I blinked slowly when I realized the strange man was waiting for an answer from me. "Uhh," was my brilliant reply as I stared blankly back at him. He really was the saddest looking man I had ever seen. Like the weight of the world rested on his slim shoulders. I realized we had just been standing there for ages when I looked away from his hypnotising gaze and awkwardly cleared my throat.

"So," I began in my best business voice, "Do you usually just pop into existence in front of people or am I just special? Because I'm not going to lie, that's kind of heart stopping."

He continued to just stand there and stare at me with his piercing look. "Why can't I hear you?" He asked quietly. "I'm listening yet no echo. No water in the river. Like a pin dropping in an empty room. Can anyone hear? I can not hear. Yes I can. Just not you. Why can't I hear you?"

Wow. This guy.

"Well," I began as I tried to put some distance between me and this possibly crazy person, "I don't know why you can't hear me. I'm speaking plain English. Or...Dragonese. Or whatever you people call it in this universe."

The whole time I was speaking the man nodded his head along to my story like random jailed women tell him tales like this everyday. Who knows maybe strange women do talk to him like this every single day?

"No I can hear you," he said, "I just can't HEAR you. Like I can hear others. I can hear your sadness. It called to me. It's why I'm here. Madness soothed. Calming. Your sadness is similar. I know it's there. I just can't pull it out. It's stuck. You are strange."

At the end of his speech I snorted and burst into unexpected laughter. He looked at me like I suddenly up and grew two heads. "You are...laughing at me?" He asked me slowly.

"Only because that's the pot calling the kettle black," I said, still laughing.

"I hear no pot or kettle," he said after turning his head to listen with a deadpan face. I couldn't help it I burst into laughter again at his ridiculous reply. He still was looking at me like I grew two heads but he cracked the smallest smile before he said in a less serious tone, "You are indeed very strange."

I was still smiling at him like I had lost my mind when I heard the prison door creak open. When I turned my head towards the noise I saw two heavily armored men enter with the most serious look on their faces. I instantly sobered up and all the laughter that could have escaped me died like an echo on the wind. Opening my mouth I was about to ask the young man that was with me if he should really be in here with me since I was a criminal and all. But he was gone. Maybe I really was losing my mind. The two burley men walked up to my cell and starting undoing the lock.

"Um," I whispered, "Am I getting to leave?"

The shorter of the two looked at me not unkindly and informed me that I was to be brought before the leaders of the Inquisition to decide my fate. Well damn that didn't sound good. I took one last look in my cell as they handcuffed me and led me from my prison. The strange man with the dark eyes was still nowhere to be seen. Looking forward as we began to assend the stairs I began to wonder if I would ever get to go back home or even get to live to see tomorrow. I assumed I was about to figure out one way or another.

*Authors Note*

So how did you guys like it? Hate it? Should I give up on this while I'm ahead? Let me know!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

The two guards led me up the long flight of stairs silently. I began to feel the coldness of the prison seep into my bones without the extra layer of warmth that was my blanket. Wrapping my slender arms around me as best as I could with my hands cuffed I thought I'd try to get some information out of these men to try and figure out where I was. I turned to the nicer of the two men deciding that he would probably be the one most likely to humor my attempts at conversation.

"So," I said in an even tone, "Where exactly are we? I mean it's pretty cold around here and the few brief minutes I was outside before you guys locked me away I saw snow and mountains."

I let the ending of my sentence trail off as I looked to see if the guard was going to answer. He looked hesitantly at me as if gauging if I could be trusted with this small bit of information. "You are in Haven," he said slowly, "Home of the inquisition and I'm sure it's no coincidence that you chose to come here. I'm curious, apostate. Why is it that you want us to believe that you don't know where you spelled your way to? Surely you are not as inept as to turn up somewhere you didn't intend to. It would require great power and much studying to preform that sort of magic."

Halfway huffing from the exertion on the stairs and halfway huffing from the indignant comment I answered him with a clipped tone. "Actually I am NOT a mage. I've got about as much magical power as a tea spoon thank you very much. I'm just as surprised as any of you that I turned up here rather than playing my video game."

The guard looked at me with a questioning look. "Video...game?"

I just shrugged my shoulders instead of answering him and we descended into silence as we came to the top of the stairs. So these people thought I was some sort of super magical apostate that has come here to destroy the inquisition? Isn't that fantastic. But the man said I was in Haven. I remember reading about Haven. It's supposed to be at the beginning of the game. So is the inquisition just getting started? I wish I would have actually gotten the chance to play this game before being thrown into this world. At least I would know what is going on and what is supposed to happen. I realized that the not so nice guard was talking to me and I looked up to pay attention.

"You will answer when you're being spoken to. Do not try any of your magic because you won't be able to use it anyway. These are magical cancelling cuffs and we have an extremely talented Templar in there that happens to be one of the leaders of our faction. Don't do anything stupid in there kid."

Being the smart ass that I was I snorted and said, "Yes I'm sure I'm going to just wow them with my pleasant manners."

The guard gave me a level look that I interpreted as "be good or we'll stab you with our scary swords."

I gulped and nodded my head as we came to stop at a giant pair of double doors. I swallowed a lump in my throat as my mouth suddenly went very dry. I wanted to ask the guards if they could give me a minute to freak out before we went in but they were already pushing open the door and ushering me inside.

The first thing I noticed when I walked through the door was that it was so much warmer in this room than in the main hall where we were before. The room wasn't as large or as grand as I expected it to be either. Most of the well lit room was taken up by a massive table in the center that held hundreds of scrolls and maps haphazardly strewn about. There were four people standing around the table deep in discussion and they seemingly didn't notice that my guards and us had walked through the door and were standing waiting. The guard cleared his throat and began speaking in a respectful tone.

"Commander Cullen sir. The prisoner as requested."

The four people stopped their talking and looked up. The one I assumed was Cullen was dressed in a suit of armor covered by some sort of fur cloak and he had a sword strapped to his side that he kept one hand on at all times. "Ah yes," the commander stated a rather authoritative voice, "Thank you. You are dismissed Templars."

The two men nodded their head in a quick show of respect. Turning back through the door we entered they closed it on their way out and left me standing alone feeling even more nervous than before. I shuffled my feet as I looked anywhere but at the four pairs of eyes.

"You know why you are here yes?" I looked at the dark haired woman with the frilly clothes and spoke with a French accent. "You must realize how this looks to us. A woman dressed oddly appears out thin air speaking in a manner most different than our own is surely very strange."

I opened my mouth to reply but was cut off by the one other lady in the room. She was dressed in a long cloak and had the hood pulled up over her short red hair. I instantly recognized her from Origins.

"Jose," the hooded woman spoke, "We should be careful not to say too much. She very well could be a spy sent here to gather information. Proceed with caution."

"Leliana is correct," Cullen said while still trying to size me up, "This woman is dangerous as is evident by the fact that she was able to preform magic that most of us wouldn't dream of. Let's look at the facts. This apostate appeared out thin air and witnesses to the incident say that she was talking about being in a different world. True or not this is something that must be investigated."

"I am not an apostate!" I said heatedly and stomped my foot. "I wish everyone would quit assuming all these things about me. I am not a mage. I have never done magic in my entire life. Believe it or not I don't have any idea what's going on any more than any of you do. The last thing I remember is sitting in my living room and the next thing I know I'm transported to this strange place and everyone is calling me a demon and then an apostate. I'm sick of it."

At the end of my rant the only noise in the room was my labored breathing trying to get back under control after my yelling. I didn't care if they thought I was insane. They clearly already assumed I was a danger so I don't think the truth would hurt my case any at that point.

After a rather long pause Cullen, Leliana, and Jose turned to the last of the four people in the room that had yet to speak. It seemed like the others looked to him for guidance. He stood with his arms crossed and stared at me like he was fighting a battle in his mind trying to figure out my angle.

"Jade," Cullen said to the man, "What do you think of her story?"

The man named Jade continued staring at me for a minute longer before seeming to come to a conclusion. You could almost see it click in his eyes. His baring seemed to relax and tension seemed to drain from him dark brown eyes.

"I know what you are thinking but she isn't going to harm us."

Everyone in the room jumped at the sudden addition to our little party. We looked to the side of the room to see the pale man from earlier sitting on the edge of the giant table with his knees pulled up to his chest.

"Cole," Jade sighed, "Get off of the war table."

"Oh right," Cole said as he jumped down, "Because I am not a war."

I couldn't help it I let out the smallest giggle at Cole's foolishness. This guy was at least good for a laugh. Everyone seemed to turn and look at me as if I had just proclaimed I had seen the Maker running outside naked. What, is a girl not allowed to laugh?

"Right," Cullen said slowly, "What's this nonsense Cole? Of course she is dangerous. Any idiot could see that."

"No," Cole replied in his airy tone, "She is not. I sense no anger or hate. I cannot see what it is that she is. But she is not a killer."

"Wait," Leliana interjected, "You cannot read her mind? That is, I think, more evidence that this woman is not as she seems is it not? Cole have you ever come across someone you could not read before?"

"No," Cole repeated, "It's not that I can't read her. I can see what she intends to be but not the whole picture. Like...underwater. Everything is there. You just can't taste it or smell it. But you can see it. I know what it is and that it's there but more than that...I cannot see."

Cullen sighed loudly. "This is getting us nowhere," he stated loudly, "As usual the boy makes no sense. Now I think we should just lock her up again until-"

"No," Jade spoke over Cullen, "If Cole says that he feels no ill will from this woman then I will not succumb to violence to get her to tell a truth that doesn't exist. I trust his judgement. Cole are you sure about her?"

Cole walked over to me and as his icy eyes made contact with mine he said with certainty, "She will not harm us." I felt a small smile break over my face at the rush of gratitude I felt towards this strange man standing next to me. At least I had one friend in this cruel world. Even if he is a bit...different. I certainly had questions that pertained to his odd gift.

"Very well," Jade said as he turned and locked eyes with me, "For obvious reasons we cannot allow you to leave Haven at the moment until we're sure your motives are clear. We will give you a place to stay until such a time that you may go back to...well wherever you are from. Which brings me to my next point. If you are truly from another world as you claim then you have nowhere to return to. I offer you a post in the inquisition. If you show promise you will be promoted to whichever station it seems you're best for."

I stayed quiet and nodded my head at the appropriate parts. This was better than I had hoped for at any rate. At least I may find some clue as to why I was sent here and how to get back. Jade seemed to be thinking along the same lines.

"At the very least," he said, "You may be able to find someone or something that will help you return home. Does this sound adequate to you, Miss...?"

"Alice," I said in a small voice, "I'm Alice. And yes that sounds great. Much more than I hoped for actually. Thank you."

"Wonderful," Jose said and clapped her hands together once, "I do always like it when you are able to recruit more agents, Jade. Now, Alice. I believe introductions are in order? I am Josephine and I am the ambassador to the inquisition. That surly looking man over there is our Commander Cullen. He handles the troops and so on. Don't worry he'll grow on you." At that comment Cullen frowned in her direction as he walked over to me. He removed my handcuffs with a small key from his pouch. I rubbed my sore wrists as Josephine continued her introductions.

"This here," she said as she patted Leliana's arm, "Is our spymaster Leliana. She really isn't as terrible as she seems."

"Ooh," Leliana replied to her, "I am very much as bad as I seem. It is why I am spymaster, no? But you have nothing to fear Alice. I will not harm you if Jade says you are to be safe."

"Cole," said Jade, "Since you were the one to vouch for Alice you can be the one that looks after her and makes sure she doesn't run away. She is still a prisoner after all but she has her freedom inside these gates for the time being. See if you can't figure out some talent of hers to help our order."

"Daggers drawn. Shirt bloody. Betrayal. Screaming. They won't stop screaming. I shouldn't have let them take mother. Don't worry Jade she will not harm us the way he did. It wasn't your fault he was a bad person. It would have happened if you were there or not."

The easy going look that was on Jades face was instantly replaced with sadness at Coles insensitive comment. I looked confused between Cole and Jade. What was going on? Cole always seems to know things he just shouldn't.. Jade gave Cole a small sad smile before he shook his head and walked off muttering something that sounded suspiciously like, "I should have at least tried."

I looked at Cole with a confused look to get him to explain but he just shook his head, grabbed my hand, and dragged me out the massive double doors. I stared at the back of his head as I let him lead me out into the entrance hall. I took one last glace behind me to make sure it was okay if I left but everyone was already back in their deep conversation we had interrupted.

"I should not have said it that way," he whispered, "Jade does not forget as easily as others. I should have said it differently. Now I cannot heal the hurt."

"Um Cole? I don't know any of you very well but I don't think he's mad at you. He seems like a kind man." I said as I tried to pull my hand out of his warm firm grip. However he didn't seem to hear me as he led me out into the icy cold air of Haven in silence.

*authors note*

Thanks to all of you that have liked my story so far. I appreciate the feedback as well. Until next time kiddies.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

The sun had yet to fade on my borrowed little shack that Cole had informed me would be mine for the time being. I could still hear the clink of armor of the men and women outside my thin walls as they passed by to do whatever it is they did at the end of their work days. I looked outside my brown, coarse curtain and saw the man that owned the small shop by the gate closing up for the day. Frowning, I let the curtain fall closed again and moved back over to the small bed situated in the far corner of the room.

The room was in fact the entire shack, no bigger than just my living room back home. It had a small soft bed in the corner that was decorated with a thick patchwork quilt that I had been thankful to discover. This living in the mountains thing was a lot colder than you might initially believe. In the center of the room was a tiny rock fireplace with embers already burning in it's depths. Other than the bed and the fireplace the only other thing of mention was a small wooden wardrobe sitting by the door. It was actually quite a cute cabin. Infinitely better than that cold dank dungeon I was in.

The only downside was that there was no running water. I never thought about how all my characters in the other games did their business but now that I'm living in this world? Let me tell you it sucks having to run out in the freezing cold and wait in line to use what was essentially an outhouse. I've only been in this world a few days and I'm already figuring out what I took for granted.

I was snapped out of my musings by a quick knock at the door. Curious as to who would be calling on me (since I know exactly five people in this universe and I seriously doubt the one who would actually visit would knock) I made my way over to the wooden door and opened it a crack to peek out expecting to see someone my height but...

Oh my god.

Oh. My. God.

"You're an elf!" I squealed in excitement as I threw open the door. Said elf was looking at me like I had lost the last of my marbles but sporting a cheeky grin on her dainty face.

"There's you, yeah," she said in the most horrendous accent I've ever heard, "Names Sera. And before you ask no I'm not here to clean your rudding room."

I felt my eyebrows draw together as I moved aside so she could enter the warmth. "Why would I need you to clean my room?" I asked her, closing the door.

"Dunno," she replied looking around my small living quarters, "People see me yeah? And all they see is an elf. And I'm not an elf. Well I mean I am but I'm not. "Excuse me sir would you like two sugars with your tea?" I bloody well think not. You need the people that drink the tea to have someone to put their sugar in but why does it have to be an elf?"

At the end of her introduction she turned to me and lifted a small eyebrow so it disappeared from sight beneath her bangs. She put her hands on her hips as if to say 'well?'

"Uh," I said in a confused tone, "It...doesn't?"

"You're bloody well right it doesn't," she said in triumph, "Anyways I'm Sera. But I think I already told you that. And you're Alice. Jade already told me that. He also told me I was to test you right? See what you're really made of and all that-"

"Wait," I interrupted her, "I thought that Jade said Cole was supposed to test me or whatever? I honestly would be more comfortable with someone I already know."

"No offense," I tacked on quickly at the end. This Sera girl seems like she could be insane so I better at least try to be civil. Those daggers and bow strapped to her back screamed lethal.

"Him?" Sera snorted out with a small laugh. "If I need someone to stand there making no bloody sense and talk about feelings and all that shite then we'll give him a call. Actually no we won't because I already have a person for that. He's bloody useless too. No I'm the person for the job. Technically Jade said I was to assist Cole with your training but I don't think I'll do that. Too boring. My way is better."

"Right," I said slowly, getting metaphorical whiplash from our brief conversation. I was really supposed to spend actual time with this person? Dear lord my head is going to implode from all this innane prattle.

"Well," she said in a chipper voice moving towards the door, "Just wanted to stop by. Size you up. You're not as horrible as I thought you'd be. Downright pleasant really. Inviting me into your house and everything. I didn't even have to kick down the door. Not that I would have. Well. I might've. Then I would've told ya to piss up a rope and find yourself a different person. But you didn't. So I didn't. Now I'm your person. Lucky you."

"Uh-huh," I replied in a polite manner. It was very clear I was correct in the whole thinking she was insane department. I felt like I was going to be giving a lot of one worded answers with this woman.

As she opened the door and stepped outside into the darkness of the early night she called back over her shoulder without looking back, "See you bright and early. We're gonna have some fun."

I heard her giggle over the howling of the wind as I closed my door shut to keep out the frigid air. I took a step back and let my arms wrap around my slender frame. Wow. I got to see an elf. A real live elf. Granted she was a bit nutty and down right dangerous looking... Biting my lip I began to worry about all the humiliating things I would be subjected to tomorrow. She said test me right? What exactly does that entail? I thought about the wicked looking daggers that were strapped to her back and shivered. I definitely will not be comfortable wielding those things or anything like them. I'm more likely to actually cut my own arm off before I do damage to anyone else in a real combat scenario. Still it would be cool if I could turn super stealthy like and learn rogue-ish stuff like my characters in the games. I snorted in amusement. Yeah like that would ever happen.

"You should probably step away from the door. It gets quite cold outside at night."

I whirled around with my hand pressed to my frantic heart. Cole was sitting atop my quilt with his legs criss crossed looking every bit of an entitled ass that he was thinking he could always pop in whenever he felt like it.

"Jesus, Cole," I whispered as I willed my beating heart to slow down, "You really need to stop doing that shit."

He raised his eyebrows at my statement. "What is a Jesus?" He asked, curious. "You say the most unusual things and in the most unusual way. Why?"

I laughed as I crossed the small room to sit at the foot of my bed. Mimicking his posture and crossing my legs I bit my lip trying to think of how to answer his question. He sat patiently waiting, watching me mull over his words.

"Well," I said slowly, "Where I come from we say things differently than everyone here. I mean, we say the same things just in a different way. I guess we're more straightforward where I'm from? A lot of people here say everything but what they mean. It's like a word dance. My people don't like to...word dance, I guess. Kind of like a more tame version of our friend I just met."

Cole nodded his head once in understanding. "Then where you come from sounds refreshing," he said in a boyish voice, leaning back on my headboard, "It's tiring here. Everyone meaning one thing but saying another. I cannot understand what it is that some need help with because they themselves do not know. I think. It is difficult to try to help someone who is wearing someone else's mind. Who doesn't know they need help."

"Yeah," I agreed looking down at my hands, distracted thinking of his unusual gift and how I knew nothing of it. After a few minutes of comfortable silence I couldn't take the curiosity anymore. I looked back up to see him staring at the ceiling with his eyes half lidded. "Cole?"

His blue eyes opened fully to attention and sought out my curious green gaze. "Yes?"

"I was wondering," I said hesitantly, "What is it exactly that you can do? I mean. Earlier today Jade took your word that I was not a bad person even though none of you knew me. What made you say that? How can you just know things?"

"Hmm. How to explain," he asked himself softly, looking across the room. "I suppose I just see. I see what a person feels. Sadness. Hatred. Jealousy. I feel the pain. Jagged. Jaded. Jumbled. And I sort it out. Sometimes it's a word or a phrase. Reaching out and undoing a knot so that it is smooth again. I'm helping. I like to help. And it's okay because they don't remember."

I raised my eyebrows and asked, "If they don't remember then how are you helping? Wouldn't they just go back to thinking the same things as before?"

"No."

"No?" I uncrossed my legs and leaned forward.

"No," he repeated, "They do not remember _me_. And that is okay. Because I helped fix a broken piece that needed fixed. Mended a hurt that no one could see. But _I_ could see. And it is enough." He crossed his arms in defiance after his explanation.

"Wow," I said softly, feeling sad, "That sounds like a very lonely life."

"Lonely," he contemplated quietly before answering my unspoken question, "I could see why you would think that. But I am not lonely. I help people. And that is enough."

We set in silence after his proclamation. I looked at this pale man. I mean really looked at him with his deep circles under his forlorn blue eyes. I saw the big hat he wore sitting on the bed beside him no longer needed because he had nothing to hide from in here. I thought about the perfectly normal conversation we were having and I got the feeling that he didn't often get to talk to people like this. Actually get to talk about himself, his hopes, and his dreams. And despite his words to the contrary I looked at this person and I didn't see someone who was fine with being forgotten by people every single day of his existence for the sake of strangers happiness. I saw the loneliest man in the world. And that made my heart constrict ever so slightly with the sadness of it all.

It's indeed difficult to help someone who doesn't know they need help. But now I can see.

*authors note*

Wow thanks so much for the positive feedback you guys. Makes me feel really good inside. Like a Hallmark card or something.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

"Again."

"W-wait," I wheezed as I dropped my dagger and I bent over with my hands on my knees. I took in huge gulps of air trying to catch my breath from all the physical exertion this morning's exercise was causing me. I raised a shaky exhausted arm up to wipe the sweat from my forehead before looking up at my pint sized tormentor.

"Hey you," Sera said sternly and without pity, "Let me tell you something yeah? I've been spending every bloody morning for the last week trying to make you just a mite less pathetic okay? It'd be nice if you weren't calling for a break every two minutes."

"Well we've been out here for hours," I responded by trying and failing to keep my voice down, "I'm not accustomed to these kinds of things okay? It may surprise you but I wasn't raised to swing a mace before I could even walk. I'm a tennis racket swinger not a sword handler. I'm trying the best I can."

It had been a week since I started this aptitude training nonsense with Cole and Sera. Cole was taking a more hands off approach, meaning all he usually did was sit in the shadows and watch my measly progression. Occasionally he'd step out to help me if he sensed I was at my wits end and was about to murder the little she elf. Which was quite often now that I think about it. The second day when I asked him why he wasn't training he only muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'I don't want Sera to feel any more threatened' and made his way back to the shadows. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why anyone would feel threatened by Cole.

Sera started banging on my door every morning before the sun even came out and kept me out until at least after noon. After she would (sometimes literally) drag me out of bed, throw my borrowed leather armor at me, and push me out into the freezing predawn air we would make our way up the hill by my hut to the camp sparring ground. There was rarely if ever anyone actually using the compound but us that early in the morning so I guess I could count my blessings. At least I only had to make a fool out of myself in front of a small amount of people.

She's been doing everything from training my body to run long distances, to having me train with various tools and weapons. Today's fun lesson is learning to attack and evade with a dagger. I can barely contain my excitement.

"Look," Sera finally said to me in a little softer voice than before, "I get that you're having problems yeah? And I guess if I'm being honest you aren't completely rubbish with a knife. There's potential in you. You can slash fairly well."

I gave a very unlady like snort as I stood back up straight to wipe my sweaty hair out of my face. "You mean my potential to possibly not injure myself if conflict arises?"

Sera cracked a huge grin as she bent over to retrieve my fallen weapon. Handing it back to me she said while laughing, "Same thing yeah? Now c'mon Alice let's see some passion on that pretty little face. I won't always be around to pick up your weapon."

She backed up a few paces and got into her battle stance. "Now. Again."

I sighed thinking of how sore all my muscles already were. I spaced my feet and slightly crouched in the position that Sera had drilled into me. Raising my shaky arms I put all other thoughts out of my mind as I prepared to advance on the infuriatingly persistent elf.

"Ouch!" I squealed as I ripped my hand out of Cole's grip for the thousandth time. The gash on my arm stinging as the drops of potion tried to close up the wound.

"Alice," Cole said with infinite patience, "Hand please."

"No," I said stubbornly as I put my hand up in the air like a child. "It's fine the way it is. Really! It feels better already. I promise."

"Alice," Cole repeated with a small grin on his face, "It hurts. I know. You can't hide the pain you feel from me. Stinging. Searing. Soreness. Plus. You're bleeding. Quite a lot actually."

I lowered my arm and looked at the long gash that ran from the outside of my elbow to just above my wrist. It was nasty and jagged looking. The cut wasn't even closed up yet because every time Cole would put a few drops of potion on it I would involuntarily rip my hand out of his grasp. The cut was still bleeding quite a bit and I wasn't stupid enough to pretend that not getting medical attention for this serious of a wound would be a good thing. I sighed and gave my arm back to Cole but not without pouting like I was six years old.

Cole gripped my hand much more firmly than before to keep me from pulling my hand away again and resumed applying the topical liquid. I tried to think of something to keep my mind off of the pain but all I could concentrate on was the small hiss the drops made each time they hit my cuts. It never happened like this in the games. In the games all a character had to do was drink a potion and they were instantly cured.

I smiled as I recalled the look of horror on Cole's face as I attempted to drink the bottle that now rested between his knees. Apparently actually ingesting this stuff is a big no no in real life. I guess it was just easier to make them drink it in the game than to sit somewhere for thirty minutes of agony applying this damned medicine.

"Perhaps you should be more careful in your training with Sera," Cole said pulling me out of my thoughts, "She is very...careless. Perhaps you should not be."

"It's not my fault the little psycho attacked me when my guard was down," I defended as a particular large drop of liquid made me wince.

"Sera knows things," Cole said with his head bent low over my arm, "She can't help mostly. But she can help in this. Lost. Wandering. Trying to find a place to call home. She wants to help you become better. Make you more you than you are now."

"So she attacked me," I replied in a deadpan voice.

Cole however either didn't recognize my tone of voice or at this point just didn't care. All he said was, "Yes. For your own good."

"I get that she wants to help," I said, "But at the same time I don't see the point. I'm no good at any of this. I'm not getting any better. I don't understand why Jade won't just let me do stuff around the village instead of training me to be a mighty warrior."

Cole paused his application of the medicine to look up at me. His icy blue eyes searched mine with a confused gaze.

"Perhaps you do not see," he said in a serious tone, "I see. Sera sees. And certainly Jade sees. You are not meant to carry water or dust rugs, Alice. You cannot see. But I see. You have already improved so much. Your trying makes Jade's burden seem a little less. He feels that if you can protect yourself then that's one less person that dies. He's always sad. Too much death. When you train with Sera she's a little less lonely. Fulfilled. Accepted. Needed. All these things she feels when you two talk. It makes her feel like she belongs."

I swallowed a lump in my throat as I looked down to the ground hiding behind my brown bangs. I felt my eyes sting with unshed tears at Cole's statement. I didn't know that Sera and Jade felt so down all the time. They always seemed so happy and sure whenever I was with them.

"You are...sad?" Cole asked with uncertainty lacing his voice.

I shook my head roughly as I quickly wiped my eyes with my free hand. "No. No I'm fine," I lied. "So you really think I'm improving?" I asked as I looked back up and made eye contact.

"Well you bloody well can't get any worse can you?" I turned my head to the sound of Sera's voice. She was leaning against my door frame with her arms crossed with a sour look on her face. "I came to come check on you. Make sure you didn't bleed to death or anything."

I snorted at her uncaring demeanor and how she was so clearly not the slightest bit apologetic. "Oh yeah," I said with sarcasm, "I'm sure you were simply tossing and turning worrying about me."

Sera let out a laugh, "You see this is why I like you yeah? Not afraid to be a complete twat. This Inquisition thingy needs more people like you."

"There," Cole said interrupting my comeback, "Finished. You'll have a faint line for awhile but it should fade eventually."

I removed my arm from his grasp to inspect his handy work. True to his word the only proof that there was even any wound there was a faint pink line that ran from elbow to wrist. Well the pink line and about a pint of dried up blood on my arm and clothing.

"Good," Sera said as she stepped into my small room, "Jade wanted us to go find his staunchy butt after you were done getting patched up. Don't ask me what he wants because I don't know."

I sighed and shrugged my shoulders before I got to my feet. I looked down at Cole who was still sitting and putting away the medicine he used.

"Thanks Cole," I said as I began to make my way to an impatient Sera standing by my door, "You're a lifesaver. Literally. I'm glad you're my friend. I guess I'll find you later okay?" I didn't give him a chance to respond as I stepped out into the chilly midday air following my pesky trainer.

On the other side of Alice's walls sat a shocked Cole looking wide eyed at the door that Alice just exited. "We are...friends?" He asked himself in a low voice and a small frown decorated his pale face. He slowly stood up after awhile and made his way out of his old house that he had given to Alice.

"...friends," he repeated with a small satisfied smile as he made his way to his newly self appointed residence.

Wow guys thanks so much for reading and liking my story. Truly. You guys are awesome. Thanks for all the positive feedback too. It makes me just want to write more of this story. Until next time kiddies. Stay golden.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

"Jade?"

"Yes Alice?"

"What are you doing?"

"I'm climbing this tree. Quite obvious is it not?"

"Uhh," I said, unclear if he was joking or not. I stood beneath the massive pine tree watching Jade effortlessly leap from branch to branch in his attempt to make it to the top. "Why exactly are you climbing this tree again?"

"Alice," Jade said breathless, "If you would be so kind as to cease your never ending questions so I may concentrate on the task at hand? That would be fantastic."

"Yeah but what about-"

"Alice. Please. Silence."

I huffed at the way he was treating me like a child. He was only about five to ten years my senior. I am NOT a child. I turned on my heel and walked a few paces back to sit on a snow covered boulder that was lodged in the ground. I didn't even bother to wipe the snow off before I plopped down.

I looked around the snow covered forest wondering for the hundredth time how exactly I got suckered into this pointless excursion. Yesterday after Cole was finished patching me up Sera and I set out to find Jade because he had something to talk to me about. Little did I know what he really wanted was someone to tag along and help him find a certain kind of plant that the apothecary needed. We've been searching the entire area around Haven all evening and we're no closer to finding this stupid flower than when we started off. My mood is really being affected by the cold and the fact that we have already missed lunch time.

"Jade," I whined, "I'm hungry. Can't we just go back now? I can't feel my toes anymore."

Jade made no confirmation that he even heard me that time. Great. He's just ignoring me now. Well if there is one thing I'm really good at it's making people annoyed. Challenge accepted.

"Well," I began in an offhanded tone, leaning back on my hands, "That really is too bad you can't hear me Jade. I mean, I suppose if I am being honest then I'm kind of happy I'm sitting here alone. With no one to talk to. At all."

I stopped talking to see if Jade was going to make any indication he was remotely listening to me. Nope.

"I mean this Inquisition thing is a real joke. It's like a bunch of boy scouts playing camping in the woods. No leadership. And the only halfway intimidating man here is that brick house Iron Bull. Which by the way? So funny. Just the other day were were at the pub and I had never met him before but I was just sitting there minding my own business when bam! He sits down in front of me at the table. His friend Krem was there too. Nice man. Shame he wasn't born with the right parts. Anyway we all get to talking and Bull says the funniest thing he says-"

"Alice," Jade finally cut in to my monologue mid ramble, "I get the feeling that maybe you would like to finish up here?" You could tell he wasn't all that annoyed from the sound of his voice. It actually sounded like he found my annoyingness amusing. Odd.

"Actually," I said in a airy voice, standing up to dust the snow off of my bottom, "I thought you'd never ask. Can we just call it a day and come back out tomorrow?"

Jade dropped down from the tree and landed softly on his feet in the snow. Nature's pillow. The snow made soft crunching noises as he made his way over to me.

"I suppose that would be wise," he said staring up at the setting sun, "It looks as if we don't have much daylight left anyway and I really don't want to be out in these woods after nightfall."

He walked past me and began the long trek back to Haven. I followed his lead like a puppy after their master. Usually that would make me feel upset but Jade just had this way about him. He was a natural born leader and it wasn't just me who thought so. Everyone looked up to Jade as the unofficial leader of our ragtag group.

We walked in silence for quite sometime before I thought of something I had been meaning to ask him. Well there's no time like the present.

"Jade?"

"Yes Alice?"

"Well," I said while watching where I stepped so I wouldn't slip and fall, "Have you ever heard of anyone else like me? What I mean is has anyone ever just...appeared? Like from a different world?"

Jade didn't answer me for so long I thought he was just going to ignore me until he answered in a soft voice, "No. I've never heard of anyone else like you. To tell you the truth I'm still not entirely sure I believe you. It's just such an outlandish tale. But then again how else can you explain what everyone saw? You showing up out of thin air? You speak different than everyone else, you act in the most peculiar way, and you have no idea how to use the most basic tools of life such as potions or even know how to start a fire. I'm not sure I know what to believe anymore but I do know there is more to you than meets the eye. I believe that maybe you were sent here for a reason we can't see yet."

I let all of Jade's words sink in for a minute. He still didn't fully believe my story. Well I can't really blame him though. If someone showed up in my time claiming they were from a different time then they would be locked up and given so many drugs they would barely have been able to function. But Jade didn't lock me up. He gave me a chance. He let me free, gave me a place to call a home, gave me a goal here, and even reluctantly has started to become my friend. It's crazy how things work out isn't it?

"Hey Jade?"

"Yes Alice?"

"Thanks for taking a chance on me."

"...you are most welcome Alice."

oOo

Jade and I had just said goodbye at the gate and I was slowly walking towards my cabin. The sun had already set about thirty minutes before so I had to rely on the torch light to guide me up the dirt path in the below freezing weather. My muscles were so sore. I had trained hard as usual this morning and immediately afterwards Jade drug me all over the countryside in pursuit of that stupid flower. Which by the way we never even found. Sera will be out of her damned mind if she thinks I'm getting up in the morning to train after this nightmare of a day. I could see the front of my small house now.

I drug my heavy feet up the steps of my porch and pushed open the front door. I walked over the threshold and closed the door behind me. Not even bothering undressing I slowly moved my aching muscles over to my bed and unceremoniously fell face first into the cusiony goodness. I groaned in appreciation as my muscles thanked me.

"You are unwell?" I heard Cole say right beside my head.

I turned my head slightly so my face was no longer buried in the feather pillow. Sitting there on the floor at the foot of my bed was my favorite unexpected visitor. I haven't been in this world for very long but already I'm immune to Cole's odd habits of showing up unannounced. He hardly even startles me anymore and I'm very thankful for that. I could do without the mini heart attacks Cole gave me in the beginning.

"Hey what's up," I asked him while yawning. I didn't even try to sit up. Way. Too. Tired.

"I have not seen you today," he said while inspecting the dark rings under my eyes, "I was making sure you did not injure yourself again."

I snorted at his lack of tact. "I can surely go one day without maiming myself thank you very much Cole."

"You are welcome," he said in his oblivious tone, not even aware of my sarcasm. I laughed at his ridiculous mannerisms and closed my eyes. Gods I was tired. I could feel my muscles relaxing even more in anticipation of the long rest I was about to take. Reality started drifting away on a cloud as I began to fall asleep.

"Are you...going to sleep?"

Yes Cole leave me alone.

"Alice?"

Hm?

"...good night Alice."

Good night Cole.

*authors note*

I had to put at least one scene with Cole in it guys. This chapter was just mainly for setting up Alice and Jade's friendship. Hope you enjoyed! Peace.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

"No."

"Come now Alice," Blackwall replied impatiently, "Be reasonable."

"Oh I'm sorry," I quipped, not sounding very sorry at all, "You must have misunderstood me. What I meant was hell. Freaking. No."

"You are acting like a child-"

" For not wanting to ride that eight foot tall behemoth?!" I practically yelled at him.

Blackwall, Iron Bull, and I were standing in the stables just outside the gates. Sera had reluctantly agreed (after my rather forceful denial to training today) that I could spend my day recuperating from the strain on my muscles yesterday. What she didn't tell me was that my 'recuperating' day would be spent trying to learn how to ride a horse. And no I'm not kidding a real live horse. Which is why I was now standing outside the old dilapidated building the inquisition called a stable throwing a midevil style hissy fit.

"Alice," Iron Bull said fiercely, "Horseback riding is something that everyone must learn. It's actually kind of surprising that you haven't learned yet to be honest. But that feeling Alice! The wind in your horns, the power between your knees, it's ability to crush skulls with it's giant hooves. It's bad ass."

I laughed at him before I replied, "Bull you seriously believe the way to convince me to ride that beast is to tell me how easy it would be for it to kill me?"

Bull didn't reply but walked over to the stable door of the horse I was supposed to train on. He opened the gate and led the horse out in the open so I could see all eight foot of the massive creature. Saying he was a big horse would be an understatement. He towered over all the other horses in the stable. He was charcoal in color except for his front right leg it was white and his muscles were strong and scary looking. Definitely looked like those legs could squish a few brains.

I gulped and quickly stepped behind Blackwall to peak around his back and keep the monster in plain sight. I did not want to be ambushed. I heard Blackwall sigh dramatically as he shook his head.

"This is ridiculous," Blackwall said exasperated, "She clearly is not brave enough to conquer the beast. We're wasting our time here."

"Hey!" I said offended. I stepped out from behind Blackwall to stand directly in front of him with my hands on my hips. "I am so brave! It's just...you guys couldn't have picked a smaller less threatening horse?"

"Then prove it," he countered with a smirk on his stupid bearded face. He pointed at the charcoal horse as if to say 'wow me.'

Oh don't you worry. Prepare to have your socks knocked off you bearded nancy. I'll show you even if it kills me. Which it possibly might.

I turned around with determination shining from my eyes as I squashed the fear that squeezed at my heart when I looked at the gargantuan creature. I probably looked a little bit insane to tell the truth which was probably why Bull was giving me a proud father look. I swear that the Qunari's danger meter was broken. He was always talking about huge beasts as if they were cuddly teddy bears. He slightly reminded me of Hagrid...if Hagrid were Qunari that had sex with everything that moved.

"Yes," Bull exclaimed loudly as I slowly made my way to where he and the horse stood, "You will not regret this Alice. This fearsome beast is also pleased with your acceptance of his presence. A proud and noble steed. He will not crush your skull. Well...probably not anyway."

"Bull," I said as I came up to the side of the horse, "Shut it."

I held my breath as I reached up and let my shaky hand softly press against the side of the horses neck. It was soft. Much softer than I thought it would be anyway. I released my breath as I felt my anxiety melt away. I continued to stroke the horse's side and he continued not to stomp me into the hay covered ground. I think that was a pretty good start.

"Okay," I turned to say to Blackwall after I was sure I was ready, "What do I do now? Do you have a box I could step on or something so I can get on the blasted-BULL PUT ME DOWN!"

In one swift move Iron Bull had bent over and picked me up like I weighed no more than a feather and sat me down on the horse's backside. I immediately bent over, held on to the white mane of the stallion, and clinched my knees together as if my life depended on it. I heard Bull and Blackwall laughing at me and I glared at them from behind my horse's head.

"Shut up you two," I hissed at them, "And Bull? I'm going to murder you."

"Ha," Bull laughed, "As if some weakling human that doesn't know the ass of the horse from a hole in the ground would be able to best me. Nice try Tiny."

"I am not tiny," I said heatedly.

"Suuurre whatever you say. Tiny."

"Oi," I heard the voice of a certain elven trainer of mine and turned on the horse to see her. Sera was standing at the entrance of the stable with her hands on her hips and boy oh boy did she look pissed. "What the hell do you tossers think you're doing putting her up on a beast like that? I told you two idiots to instruct her in riding not let her pale ass get squashed by Iron Hooves the Destroyer."

"Oh c'mon Sera," Bull practically pleaded, "You've got to admit she'd be an unstoppable killing machine with a bow on Iron Hooves!"

"Yeah she would," Sera replied waving her hands about, "Oh wait no she wouldn't. Because your friggin horse would murder her you idiot. Jade can't even ride that beast so what makes you think her skinny pale ass can? Oh and by the way? She can't shoot a friggin bow to save her life. So that sort of ruins your plan don't it?"

I listened to all of their bickering in silence until something they said clicked in my memory. "Wait a minute," I said loudly and looked at Bull with horror on my face as I loosened my grip, "This is your horse? And it's name is Iron Hooves the freaking Destroyer?! What kind of name is that! Actually you know what? I don't care. I'm getting down from this stupid monster right now. Then I'm going to find a sharp stick to stab you with."

Everything happened in slow motion after I said those words. The horse neighed loudly and threw it's front hooves high in the air rejecting me as it's rider after I offended it by calling it names. I saw the look of horror on everyone's face as my loose grip wasn't enough to hold on to the temporally insane creature and I flew off backwards at high speed. I felt the sharp sting of the wall as my body was forcefully slammed in to it followed by my head. The last thing I saw was Sera's worried face looking down on me as I lay crumpled on the stable floor. Her lips were moving but they didn't make any noise. I tried to focus but darkness stole my vision and I passed out.

oOo

The first thing that my mind registered as the hold of unconsciousness released me was that I had the biggest headache of my life. It felt as if someone were taking a hammer and was continuously hitting me on the back of my head. I could even feel my brain pulsating from the ache. The rest of my body felt brittle and broken. I was pretty sure I had a few fractured bones to show for my 'horse training' gone wrong. I groaned and felt my dry cracked throat protest at the movement.

"You are awake."

I slowly opened my heavy eye lids to see Cole sitting beside me on my bed. He wasn't wearing his usual massive hat and was barefoot wrapped up in a green scratchy blanket. The rigid state of his posture made it look like he had been sitting there for quite some time. His blue eyes were looking at me and worry was clearly written all over his stressed face.

"You were very hurt when they brought you home," he said softly as if talking loudly would bring down the roof, "Broken. Bloody. Bandaged. They did not know if you would wake. They were afraid. So I stayed with you. I am glad you did wake. I did not want them to feel more sadness."

I let my eyes wander from him over to one of my windows and tried to determine what time of day it was. There was no sunlight peaking out from behind my curtain so it had to be either really late or really early.

"The Iron Bull regrets his actions," Cole continued quietly, "He did not say. But he didn't have to. I felt it. Guilt. Sadness. Anger. Anger at himself. Anger for thinking a human could ride a Qunari mount. Even though I knew he felt these things...I was angry. And Jade. Jade was so scared that he would lose someone else."

I slowly looked from the dark window back to Cole as he sat there looking helpless. It was probably hard on him. Having all that anger and sadness around you, affecting the people you called your friends, and not being able to do anything about it. He was still so new to this world. I felt sorry for him. I felt one of my ribs protest a my breathing hitched.

"Jade yelled at him. Said hurtful things that rang truths. His anger and hurt did not care. My thoughts yelled at him. He didn't know what would happen with his horse. And yet...it didn't matter. I told him if you died I would kill him. He said I know. Jade did not stop me. He felt I was right. I was not. I didn't mean it...or maybe I did. I don't know. Varic told me when you were sleeping that I was just sad. And when people are sad they say things that have half truths. I did not like feeling sad. Feeling angry. I didn't want to harm The Iron Bull. Varic said that you would be okay. I did not believe him."

I looked up and Cole's blue eyes met my green orbs and I could see everything that he felt. All the anger and sadness that he described was clearly visible like reading an open book. It was the most heart wrenching and private thing that I had ever seen. I slowly raised a weak shaky hand and placed it on top of his hands that he was wringing in his lap. He stilled considerably and seemed to relax a bit.

"I am glad you woke up Alice. Varic says that it's a part of being human feeling angry and telling half truths. He says it's not like lying because you believe what you are saying is true. I do not think that I am human. Fragile. Fickle. Free. But maybe...maybe I am more than I thought."

I felt a small smile decorate my face as I nodded slightly and my heart skipped a beat at his answering sad smile. My head began to spin and I felt my eyes began to droop. This small encounter had left me utterly drained. I wonder how much of a train wreck my body was in for me to feel this bad.

I could no longer keep my eyes open and I fell asleep to the heat of my cabin, a warm pressure on my palm, and the continued monologue of this worlds most confused and caring spirit.

*authors note*

Wow guys I just want to say you're all awesome. I never thought I'd get this much positive response from my story. I appreciate ALL of my reviews but I want to give a special shout out to the one guest review that made my day. Whoever you are? You're awesome.

I have a more serious topic to share with you guys. I know making Cole more human before they leave Haven is a little OOC if you think about it. But it's really not if you think about it. Him and Alice are very good friends and it's not out of the question that he start to feel more things earlier. He's still going to have the amulet thing to send him over the edge but I think this gradual progression of character is what would happen if Alice was a cannon character. I think so at least. But if you disagree or think I can improve in any way don't hesitate to comment and share.

Until next time my dears.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

It was a few days after my little horse riding disaster and Iron Bull, Solas, Sera, Varic, and of course my ever present shadow Cole sat at a table in the middle of a very packed little tavern with me. Since Solas gave me the go-ahead to start getting up and moving around a few days ago saying my injuries were healed nicely, Iron Bull thought it would be a good idea to go and celebrate my non death with a round or two at the tavern. I was starting to think Iron Bull might have a slight alcohol addiction and would use just about any excuse to pick up a tankard before ten in the morning. Turns out that they don't have any underage drinking restrictions in this universe. Imagine that.

We had already downed a few rounds of ale and had been getting louder and louder with each mug of alcohol consumed. Our topics of conversation had been becoming more and more ridiculous. Our current topic of conversation was all the things that I had in my world that was different than the Dragon Age world. I know, I know. Not a smart idea at all given my present company.

"Umm," I said trying to think of something else to add to the list, "We've been to the moon?"

"Get off it," Sera exclaimed in disbelief before she looked around at our friends for an ally, "That's just not possible, right?"

I looked at all my shocked comrades. Everyone at the table was silent to Sera's question and stared at me with their mouths slightly open like I had proclaimed I was going to run away and marry a dragon. Well, except Cole of course. That guy is never phased by anything. He cocked his head to the side and said, "How does one go to something that you can't walk to?"

I laughed a little at his question before answering him. "Well we have these huge ships," I said while spreading my hands out in the air to demonstrate, "They're kind of like the ships that sail on water only these ships...sail on air I guess? They weigh so many thousands of pounds and use fuel to blast off from the ground and exit the atmosphere and..." I slowly trailed off mid sentence when I looked around the table and I saw the completely lost look on everyone's face that told me they had no clue as to what I was talking about. I laughed awkwardly scratching the back of my head. I picked up my cup and drained the rest of my ale, feeling my cheeks flushed with warmth.

"So do these air sailing ships sail on magic?" Solas questioned with a fascinated look. "Perhaps using some sort of fade spirit?"

"Uh, well," I scratched my chin as I thought of how best to explain the unexplainable to these people, "In my world we don't have magic. And we certainly don't have the fade or spirits. Everything is made with science not magic. Chemistry, physics, math. Stuff like that."

"No fade?" Solas looked offended at the mere thought. "Surely there is a fade even if your people can't find it. It's absurd to believe there is no be a fade even in a distant land. Perhaps your 'science' is wrong. There are spirits in every corner of the world, Alice."

"Yeah kid," Varic said in his scratchy voice leaning across the table to poke the side of my head with his finger, "You sure your brains didn't scramble when that horse made you into a wall pancake? Because that's a pretty hard story to believe even for my standards."

I sighed in frustration at Solas' haughty attitude and Varic's...well Varicness. So far on the list of things that I have told them about my world this topic comes second only to indoor plumbing in frustration. It was a nightmare trying to explain them all the ends and outs of the plumbing buisness. Maybe I should have just stuck with the simple inventions such as the sticky note or soda. God I missed soda.

"Gah," Iron Bull exclaimed loudly while hitting both of his massive hands on the table top, "I've heard enough of this other world crap. Whose to say Tiny isn't out of her mind anyway? I mean have you seen her behave?"

Bull laughed heartily at my mumbled, "Geez thanks a lot."

"My point is," he said while raising his mug in the air, "That you are a strange creature with strange stories and I'm choosing not to believe all that crap-"

"Here, here," Sera interrupted loudly while also raising her mug in the air, "To hell with all that other worldy shite. I for one think you're off your friggin rocker, Alice, if you expect me to believe all that rubbish about chem-whatever and math-thingys. I mean I would love to believe that there is a place where no one has all that freaky magic stuff. But the fade is real yeah? Everybody knows that."

"To Alice," Varic toasted his glass in the air with a smirk my direction, "The biggest shit talker I have ever met. And that's quite an accomplishment might I add, kid."

I threw my hands in the air, exasperated at the chorus of 'To Alice!' that was going around the table. After their toast everyone broke apart into individual conversation and the volume of the tavern seemed to increase by ten.

Sighing, I put my elbows on the table and rested my chin in my hands. Lazily looking around at all the people that I had come to call my friends I felt thankful for the first time since arriving here that I was able to meet these characters even if they thought I was insane and making everything up. Even if it turned out that I woke up from some coma or something tomorrow I would still feel like this experience was the most real in my entire life. I smiled slightly as I watched Sera and Varic make a joke at Solas' expense and Iron Bull laughed loudly.

"You are...happy?"

I looked to my left to where Cole was sitting close beside me on the bench. He was studying my small satisfied grin that had refused to leave my face while watching my friends banter. His eyebrows were knitted in confusion.

"You know," I said a little loudly so I could be heard over the laughing and music all around us, "You always ask me what emotions I'm feeling. I thought you could just tell, Spirit Boy?" I playfully bumped his arm with my shoulder and laughed at his confused expression.

"I know that you are happy," he replied seriously, "But other than that? I feel nothing. With others I can feel but with you...it's like I'm reading a word on a page. Just one word. Happy. Sad. Angry. There is no reason. No feeling, like with the others. Your emotions do not scream at me."

I grinned up at him as he explained himself and I asked him jokingly, "Is that why you like keeping me around so much? Because I don't scream at you?"

"Yes," he said simply while his calm blue eyes scanned the room and watched our comrades laughing and joking around us, "It is a relief to not feel so much. Sometimes at least. I always feel. Feeling yet never failing to fix. To mend the madness. And yet...with you I feel nothing and you ask nothing of me. I feel free. Almost human maybe. Maybe, a little."

I smiled slightly at my friends serious attitude. It didn't matter to me that he was a spirit, or a demon, or whatever he was. Cole was the first friend I made in this world and he was more human to me than anyone I've ever known. I put my flushed forehead on the cool tabletop. The ale I was drinking was starting to make me feel warm and dizzy at the same time.

"You're human to me," I said with my eyes closed trying to stop my world from spinning.

Cole didn't answer for so long that I thought maybe he didn't hear me. "And that is enough," he finally responded in such a quiet voice that I had trouble hearing him over the crowd. We settled into a comfortable silence as we studied the going ons around us. I was never one that liked to be the center of attention. I had always preferred to blend in to the background and people watch. It made me ecstatic that Cole never pressured me in to conversation and we could just sit in a comfortable silence.

"I believe you," Cole said quietly beside me.

I furrowed my brow and turned my head in his direction. Cole's ability to continue a conversation he was having in his head with me always caught me off guard. "Sorry?" I asked him, "Believe what exactly?"

Cole turned in his seat and crossed his legs on the bench giving me his full attention. "Your world. Exotic, exciting, experiences different than our own but no less real. Ships that sail softly on clouds. Magnificent metal carriages that move without force, without pulling, or pushing, prodding. I want to believe your world is real."

I felt my stomach give a small flip as Cole looked at me. He was gazing at me so intensely, his icy blue eyes never leaving mine, that I felt my already alcohol induced red face become even more heated up.

"Uhh," I responded in a hoarse voice. I cleared my throat before answering in a slightly less embarrassing tone, "Thanks Cole. I, um, I appreciate it."

Cole held eye contact for a few more moments before slowly nodding his head in affirmation and turning back around in his seat.

I sighed at my own foolishness. What was wrong with me? Why was it that all of a sudden I'm completely awkward when he stares at me with that stare that he does? He has been looking at me like that since the first time we met. That's just the look he gives everyone. It's just so Cole. It didn't mean anything. I glanced at his profile out of the corner of my eye and discreetly studied him.

His softly lidded blue gaze was watching everyone at out table and occasionally giving input in a conversation if he was directly asked a question. Mostly though he just sat there and observed what was happening with a small smile on his face. He looked as if just being around his friends and watching them laugh and have fun was what he lived for, what made him happy. My eyes were drawn to his grin. His small pink lips looked so soft and velvety. I wonder what it would be like to...

Feeling me stare so openly at him Cole turned and I felt my stomach flip when he focused his curious blue gaze to look at me. He raised his eyebrows in a silent question. I just gave him a small smile and shrugged my shoulders in answer before turning away. I had no idea why I was feeling so strange. What the heck was I supposed to say? 'Hey let's go back to my place so I can test the validity of your velvety lips that I just now noticed'? Uh. No thanks. I'm ninety nine percent sure that Cole has never even had impure thoughts unlike some people anyway. He's too pure for that.

Feeling the need to advert my attention from my obvious temporary insanity, I raised up my glass of ale to take another drink and paused mid drink. I looked suspiciously down at my mood altering concoction and grunted. Maybe it was about time I head home and sleep if this stuff is making me attracted to even Cole. I couldn't really be attracted to Cole. Could I...? He's just so Cole. Impossible. I'd go home and sleep off this...whatever this was and when I wake up I will NOT think of how soft Cole's lips looked or the way my stomach flipped when his eyes focused on me. It was the alcohol. Nothing more. I put my glass down and said my goodbyes to the table as I rose to leave.

"Aww," Iron Bull laughed in his best condescending baby tone, "Has Tiny had enough for tonight? Hey Sera. For your next training exersize maybe you should teach this mighty warrior to drink more than two pints before throwing in the towel."

Sera laughed at Bull's teasing, "Yeah maybe she'd do better at that than horse riding at any rate."

Iron Bull burst into laugher at Sera's comment and my answering middle finger. These people brought out the best in me they truly did.

Everyone said their farewells and Sera told me that I better rest up because our training was starting up again bright and early. Rain or shine. Grunting I felt my good mood go out the window with the prospect of my pint sized tormentors idea of fun. I made my way to the exit and pushed open the wooden door into the cold night air before stepping out into the icy wind.

I pulled my cloak tighter around me as I walked the darkened streets. I thought back over the night and realized that it had been too long since I had a night where I just let go and had Since before I came in to this world anyway and that felt like a lifetime ago. I smiled as I pushed open my unlocked front door and stepped into the warmth of my cabin. I walked over to my bed and pulled off all my outer layers of clothing leaving only my thin undershirt and breeches to sleep in. Pulling back the covers I slid gratefully into the soft downy goodness that was my bed. I grunted in appreciation as my exhausted body relaxed and I felt the warm tendrils of an alcohol induced sleep call to me. The last thing I thought of before unconsciousness took me was silky soft lips and icy blue eyes. I felt one corner of my mouth lift up ever so slightly at the thought and then I knew no more.

oOo

Hey guys I hope you had good holidays and a safe new year. I know I gained at least ten pounds. It was glorious.

Thanks again so much for reviews, favoriting, and following. You are the reason I continue to do this. Well. That and because I'm completely in love with Cole.

Thank you to all my constructive reviews. Especially amaze-ball's reviewer. You rock.

Until next time kiddies.

Small disclaimer: I don't own sticky notes.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

"Hey Sera?" I asked early one morning on the way to our training ground.

"Yeah?" She asked in her signature carefree tone.

"Um," I said hesitant as I side stepped a fully armored Templar that was busy going the other direction, "Is there something going on? Why are there so many Templars and soldiers out? Usually everyone is still in bed when we go out to train this early."

The sun had yet to rise but there were a lot more people up and about than usual. We had to constantly move aside for brisk looking soldiers marching by in uniform. I even spotted the only local merchant already setting up shop and he usually only did that a few hours after sun rise at least. I could hear the clang of metal off in the distance meaning the blacksmith was also already in business. Something strange was definitely happening in Haven.

"Well it's about time innit?" Sera answered me, "Time for it all to happen."

I looked curiously over to my mentor clearly lost. "I'm sorry. All what exactly?"

"You know," she replied waving her hands in the air as if that would be answer enough, "All the breach stuff. It's about time it was closed right? Can't have those demons walking around like they own the place forever now can we?"

I furrowed my eyebrows and looked up at the giant green tear in the distant sky. It glowed menacingly from the heavens an ever present reminder of what the inquisition stood for. It would bother me whenever I looked up at it when I first arrived. I would spend nights just staring out my window watching it and expecting something to happen. But nothing ever did happen and I began to get used to seeing it. Now it's just a fixture in the sky no different than the clouds or birds. You forget when you get used to something that it is dangerous. That it needed to be destroyed.

"Well how are we supposed to destroy something big like that?" I asked in awe, still staring up at the breach. "I mean c'mon Sera. I know Jade has that anchor thingy and he shuts those little rifts all the time but this is a bit different isn't it? How can one person stop all that?"

We entered the training grounds as I finished asking my question. There were many soldiers already taking up the small space. Groups of Templars littered the ground sparring and training for the battle ahead. Sera observed the mass of bodies and the lack of space for the two of us to train with a frown decorating her slim face.

She turned to me before answering in an annoyed voice. "Listen up yeah? Because I'm only gonna say this once."

I arched my eyebrow at her suddenly changed demeanor but didn't comment on it. I raised one hand in her direction indicating that she had my attention.

"Right," she said a little calmer than before, "Well this Inquisition thingy would be nothing without Jade right? He's the big wig that closes the rift what-its and saves the day. Without him there would be no point to this fighting piss would there? I'd just run away as far as I could. But I don't. Because we have Jade ya see?"

"But I still don't see how-"

"He CAN close that breach Alice," Sera interrupted, "All these little people here? The one's fightin everyday for this Inquisition crap? They're the one's who will make this happen. You need the little people to make a way for the big people like Jade. So yes he will close that breach. And no he isn't just one person. He's part of a bigger set of people that make a whole right?"

"Sooooo," I said slowly trying to show that I understood where she was coming from, "You're saying that Jade is the president and the inquisition is his marines and air force?"

She cocked her head to the side and gave me the most bemused look before answering, "I don't know half of those words from manners but I think you've about got the point. Jade is-"

"Excuse me serrah?" We turned around to see a small little she elf standing there with a flushed face indicating she had run to the grounds. She put out a steady hand that held a letter with a hastily scrawled note.

"Urgent news from Commander Cullen. Said to deliver it to you right away he did."

Sera rolled her eyes before taking the note and dismissing the elf with a sigh. "I swaer," she complained while unfolding the note, "I'll never understand why captain pompous ass can't ever-oh wait. Oh isn't this rudding fantastic."

Wondering what the small note could possibly say I leaned over her shoulder to take a glimpse but she hastily folded it back up and shoved it into one of her many pouches. I raised a brow at her odd behavior but she just shrugged her shoulders in answer.

"Well," she said briskly while turning around and making her way to the exit, "Looks like you got lucky today Alice. I'm going to have to cancel our sparring session for the next...well foreseeable future anyway."

I jogged a few paces to catch up with her quick strides before asking, "What? Why ever for? I'm just now getting the hang of the whole stabby buisness Sera! And the other day you said you were so impressed at the way I was beginning to dodge that I might not be a complete waste of time. Why quit now?"

She sighed before answering. "Look," she said, "I'm not cancelling all your lessons forever you daft tit alright? Just until we get this breachy stuff under control. This note here-" she indicated to the pouch she stowed the note in "-says I'm supposed to go find Jade because he wants to talk big boy business. We're about to have to fight, Alice. Jade told me this would be happening soon but I didn't know he meant in the next friggin days soon. He also told me to tell you in this note that he wants you to keep practicing while the army marches-"

"Wait," I interrupted while grabbing her arm and pulling her to a stop, "What am I supposed to do while everyone goes off to war Sera? I don't want to just sit around doing nothing while you guys are out there fighting demons. Wondering if all of my friends will come back. I want to help. Let me go with you. Please."

"No friggin way," she laughed while shrugging off my hold on her sleeve, "You'd die the first ten seconds of a real battle Alice. Combat isn't one of the dummies in the training grounds-"

"Yeah I know that but if you would just-"

"No."

Sera and I turned our heads to look at a very irritated looking Jade standing behind us. He had his arms crossed and in his most authoritative voice he reiterated what Sera had told me. "You can not go into battle Alice. You are not properly trained yet and I will not have you throw away your life because you do not want to feel anxious about our return. You knew that this was something that had to be done. I don't see why you're getting so upset now on the eve of battle. You will stay here. And you will wait for our return. Do I make myself clear?"

My head drooped in defeat and I looked at my shoes. I could feel the burn of unshed tears and hid behind my dark bangs hiding my face from sight. I heard Jade sigh and saw the top of his shoes as he stood directly in front of me. The weight of his hands on either of my shoulders caused me to sheepishly look up from his shoes to his kind brown eyes. There was concern and stress written all over his face. It must be hard having to make the tough decisions that no one else can.

"Please try to understand," he pleaded softly with me, "I'm already sending too many well trained people to their deaths. I can't prevent what happens to our soldiers but I can protect you. I do not want you to die in vain Alice."

I swollowed a lump in my throat and nodded my head meekly. I couldn't fight with Jade. He was right I would just get myself killed if I were to go. I was definitely no soldier. Jade gave me one of his rare smiles and patted my shoulders once more before stepping back and returning to his 'business as usual' self. He turned to face Sera who had been watching the exchange with the most curious expression.

"Right fuzzy moment that," Sera observed with a smirk, "You'll have to teach me that Alice taming trick once we get back Jade. It'd come in real handy it would."

"Sera," Jade cut through her nonsense, "We're meeting everyone in the war room. We have much to plan before we march to the breach."

"Yeah yeah," she replied in an airy tone before turning to me, "Go back home and get some rest kay? I'll come find you when all this important talk is over."

I nodded my head because what else could I do? Jade and Sera turned around and walked up the dirt covered path to the Chantry building that served as headquarters. I stood in the middle of the path and watched them disappear out of sight. All forms of Templars and soldiers parted around me as I stood there wondering exactly what the hell was going to happen now.

oOo

What's this? Two updates in one day? Gasp. I'm on a roll. Well it's getting closer to the sack of Haven guys! I'm pretty excited to write the next few chapters if I'm being completely honest. That was one of my favorite parts in the game and it will be a unique writing experience that's for sure. Anyway thank you all for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

There are all different kinds of silence.

Firstly there's the shame silence. When the thought of something that you did invokes the most loud quiet there ever was. Words scream at you quietly through emotions and actions rather than words. Where deep breaths speak volumes and softly spoken words break houses. But this is not that kind of silence.

Secondly there's the silence that takes you off guard. When you are rendered so speechless by a thought or action that you set there completely stunned. But this is not that kind of silence.

Thirdly there is the grieving silence. Where the pain cuts so deep and so sharply that there really isn't a need for words. Words in such a silence would make the whole situation real when all you need is to keep pretending everything is fine and nothing has changed. And yet this was still not that kind of silence.

No I had experienced all of those silences at one time or another but this is the first time I've experienced the resigned silence. Silence that is made with all three other parts. It's quiet yet so very loud. Every man, woman, and child in Haven is feeling that silence.

It was the eve before the battle to close the breach and yet there was no noise. The shops were closed up. The tavern was empty. Even the guards that watched the gate were sent home to be with their loved ones and friends. Everyone was prepared for the absolute worst to happen tomorrow. They were all prepared to sacrifice their lives to do what they believed was right.

I frowned and kicked a stray pebble that was in the middle of the small dirt path I was using to follow home. It flopped and bounced into the side of a rock house and the echo was just a muffled thump. Even the noise was silent.

I sighed as I crossed my arms tightly around my slender waist. Looking around at all the houses I was passing by I could see the lights behind closed curtains and doors indicating that people were home. It was just now turning nightfall and yet every soul in Haven had been indoors hours ago. Jade had given all the Templars and soldiers the order to spend the last night before battle with their friends and loved ones. It was only the right thing to do.

Which was why I found myself aimlessly wandering a deserted Haven in the below freezing temperature. I really had no intention of seeing my friends before they left because I wasn't very good with goodbyes. I never had been. I liked to pretend bad things weren't happening and that everything was going to be okay even if deep down I knew it wasn't. I knew that probably not all my friends would make it back alive. I knew. And yet I had been spending every waking hour trying to think of anything else other than tomorrow's departure.

I knew that at least Bull and Sera had come to my cabin when I wasn't there to see me off earlier that day. I watched from atop the gate invisible to even Sera's keen eye in the shadows. I could see how frustrated they were when they looked all over the town for me and yet I was no where to be found. I followed them with my eyes as they had navigated the empty streets until finally returning to their own dwellings. I had stayed up there for the rest of the day to avoid my friends and their inevitable goodbyes. A few more of the soldiers and Templars that I had gotten to know quite well from my time in Haven also made an appearance on my door step but they all left disappointed. I watched my little cabin in the dying light until there was no chance that anyone would see me return home. I silently descended the ladder and made my way along the dirt path towards my house.

I felt a small twinge of guilt as I reached my cabin but I quickly squashed it. My avoiding them was definitely for the best. I wouldn't know what to say anyway. I took out my key with a freezing numb hand to unlock my front door before stepping into my blissfully warm room. I leaned back against the door after I closed it and shut my eyes. I took in a long exhausted breath. The last few days I had hardly slept a wink and I was pretty much dead on my feet. Which was probably why I didn't notice a certain blond haired spirit sitting on my bed until he spoke up in a quiet voice.

"You are hurting."

I slowly opened my eyes to see a concerned looking Cole step quietly towards me as I leaned against the closed door. He wore his big floppy hat that was much too large for his head and it swayed as he silently stopped a foot in front of me. I looked up into his crystal blue eyes expecting to find anger for my avoiding all of my friends but all I saw was kindness and compassion. I should have known. I sighed as my hands went up to cover my eyes as I bowed my head in exhaustion.

"Not now Cole," I told him, my voice being muffled by my palms. "I really can't do this okay? Just...just go. And I'll see you. After."

"After," he repeated slowly, "After when?"

"Just after," I said exasperated as I dropped my hands to my sides, "Any time that isn't now."

"She knows that there will be death. Dying, destroying, destruction of self. Deeds that can't be undone," he said cryptically while tilting his head to stare curiously at me before stating simply, "I might be dead after."

My stomach plummeted at his words and I felt tears sting my eyes. He said the one thing that I had been trying to avoid thinking about all day and it felt like a lead weight being dropped in my gut. I looked up at him, anger burning in my gaze, and all but growled, "You are not allowed to die."

"Thank you for remembering me," he told me sincerely.

I blinked once before I asked him in confusion, "What in the heck are you on about now? I was just yelling at you Cole. You can't just change subjects like that."

Cole lifted one pale finger and tapped it on my forehead before answering. "You remember me. I'm used to being forgotten and yet you never do. Like Jade it's impossible to make you forget. I've tried."

"You tried to make me forget you?" I asked irritated and put my hands firmly on my hips.

"Yes," he replied simply to my anger, "In your cell. Cold, confused yet cemented impression. I said the wrong thing. I tried to make you forget but you saw me. You still see me. Even when it hurts. Thank you."

I felt my irritation ebb away as it was replaced with fondness for my favorite spirit. Looking into his kind blue eyes I could feel my stomach clench the way it had every time I spoke with him since that night in the tavern. "You're welcome Cole," I told him quietly ignoring my stupid feelings that were beginning to make me insane.

I stepped around him to walk into my room. I took off my jacket and threw it on my bed before turning around to see that Cole had followed close behind the whole way. Usually that wouldn't have been unusual. Cole frequently followed me around if he had nothing better to do. Varric had started calling him my faithful hound. Of course Cole didn't get the joke and I had to explain it to him but still. Funny stuff. Anyway what made it unusual was the fact that he looked like he was in pain.

"Cole?" I asked him in worry, "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Wrong," he repeated quietly, "She won't see me before I go off to die. Pain. Betrayal. Cold wind against my cheek. Smoke coming from her chimney."

I raised an eyebrow in confusion, "Cole I don't-"

"Closer now. It's late now. She should be home. I want to say goodbye-"

"Wait Cole," I hissed quietly at him, "Is someone out there to see me?" I asked him nervously while looking around him to eye the door with apprehension. I avoided people all day I couldn't be caught now.

"The wood creeks as I step lightly on the stairs," Cole said more quietly to me sensing my need to be left alone, "Hand raising to knock on the-"

"Shh!" I said quietly as I closed the small distance between us and smacked my hand over his surprised mouth. It was the only way to keep him from talking anymore and giving away my presence. I felt my cheeks turn red as I realized how close we were with my body practically up against his. I could feel the heat radiating off of him and he was much more warm than I thought a spirit would be. I heard loud knock at the door and was pulled out of my silent contemplation as I forgot my embarrassment. I leaned around Cole to stare at the door. I had never been so thankful that I had locked a door in my life as I saw the handle jiggle when my visitor tried opening it. I let out a quiet sigh in relief.

"Alice?" I heard a voice that sounded like Jade say. He knocked on the door once again more loudly than before. I pulled my eyes from the door to look up at Cole who was still standing there with my hand over his mouth. He had the most curious expression upon his pale features. I could tell the second I let go of his mouth he would begin questioning me. I closed my eyes as I began to feel a headache start to take place.

"Alice," Jade repeated from the other side of the door, "I don't know why you have been avoiding us the last few days but we all would like to see you before...well. Before we leave in the morning."

A war was waging inside me whether or not to go to my friend. Eventually the cowardice won out and I hung my head in shame as I stayed where I was. Jade sighed in frustration on the other side of the door. He waited a few more seconds to see if I would answer before I heard his feet retreating away from my cabin.

I let out a shaky breath that I didn't know I was holding. Dropping my hand from Cole's face I took a step back and hugged my arms tightly around me to hold myself together. I was a horrible friend if I couldn't even say goodbye to the people I loved. My heart was constricting in pain at the guilt and sadness I had been feeling the last few days. Finally like a dam exploding from too much pressure I felt a single tear slide down my cheek followed by another. And another.

"You are crying?" I heard Cole ask in confusion.

I nodded my head slowly as I stared at the floor where my continuing tears began to drop. I honestly didn't know what was wrong with me. When did I become such a coward? Why couldn't I even see my friends off before they went to battle?

"Alice," Cole said helplessly in front of me, "I don't know how to help. Blank, bleak, but still black like infinite nothingness. Like you always are to me. I don't know how to take away the hurt Alice. I can't see."

What if I never said goodbye to my friends because I was too afraid? What if I was too afraid and they went off and died anyway? I put my hand up to my mouth as a quiet sob tore through my throat.

"...Alice?"

I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Even if I refused to say goodbye that was no guarantee they would come back. I closed my eyes as the tears began to come faster. I'm a horrible friend. I don't deserve these amazing people who have done so much for me and all I can do in return is-

I felt two warm arms wrap around me and pull me close in a hug. I opened my watery eyes in surprise and looked up to see Cole staring down at me with concern written all over his face.

"Unhearing, uncaring yet caring too much," Cole said quietly down to me. "You carry sadness. Sadness I can't see but can still feel. Festering, frothing, fear. What are you afraid of Alice?"

"Cole," I stated in a scratchy voice from my crying, "You're hugging me."

"Yes." He replied simply in a manner that was just so Cole.

"Um," I said lamely while looking away from his too close hypnotizing blue gaze. I could feel Cole studying my face and I felt blood rush to my cheeks leaving them flushed. I cleared my throat quickly before trying to form a sentence again.

"Have you ever hugged anyone before Cole?" I asked him feeling all together too awkward in this situation knowing he was only doing this out of compassion.

"No," he replied simply, "I've seen it though. In memories of hurt. A small child scrapes his knee and a mother comforts. A widow that doesn't yet know she's a widow. And then she does. A friend comforts her without words. I didn't know the right words to say so I said this without saying something wrong."

I felt the corner of my mouth lift up as I laid my head gently against his chest. I didn't stop to think of how odd a picture we probably made or how weird it was that Cole was actually hugging me in the first place. Even if he was only doing it because he saw others do it. The only thing I was thinking of was the fact that I could hear his heart beat loud and clear through the thin fabric of his shirt and how he smelled earthy like the forest after it would rain.

"Thank you Cole," I told him softly then I lifted my arms up around his back returning his hug. "I'm a horrible friend. I don't deserve you or Jade or anyone else. Especially when I've been avoiding you all-"

"No," Cole said sternly and with feeling, "You are a good person. Your friends feel more free with you. Sera sighs less, laughs more. You remind Jade of Lilly even though he knows you're not her. He pretends sometimes that you are. But sometimes you're you too."

I sighed into his chest and closed my eyes. " I don't even know who Lilly is Cole. And those things don't make me a better person."

"He knows who she is," he said softly to the top of my head, "Or was. Soft silky straw hair strewn about in an unnatural way. He was sad. Is sad. But is less sad with you."

"Was she..." I began slowly feeling guilty about prying in to Jade's past when he never told me anything about a Lilly before. "Did he love her?" I asked quietly.

"Yes," Cole replied simply, "My sister. They killed her. I'll kill them back. Iron on steel on bone. Crimson streams gushing until they don't. Nothing left. They took everything of mine and I took everything of theirs. But I still have nothing."

"Oh," I said sadly, "I never knew. Poor Jade."

"He did not want you to know," was his response, "He always needs to protect, to provide, to prove that he can. That he should have. And he is. And you help. You are not a horrible friend Alice."

I felt my tears start up again at his words. They fell down my flushed cheeks and were absorbed by the rough fabric of Cole's shirt making a dark stain.

"Thank you," I whispered, "And I'm sorry. I was avoiding you too. I just thought that if I didn't say goodbye then you all would come back to me. That you would be okay. It's stupid I know. But that's just how I've always dealt with things. Thank you for being my first friend here. It means so much to me."

Cole didn't answer for the longest time. We just stood there together as he held me and my tears made a mess of his shirt. But he didn't complain once.

"Kind," was all he said after the long silence was broken.

I furrowed my brow and pulled back a little to look up at his calm face. "Beg pardon?" I asked him in confusion.

Cole let his arms drop to his sides and I released my hold on him as well. We just stood there for a moment before he elaborated.

"Kind, caring, gentle, " he told me, "You care about others. About _me_ . Even when you should not. I think you should say goodbye. If Jade died tomorrow you would be sad. Very sad."

I wiped my face free of tears before taking in a large breath. I nodded my head at his statement as I released my breath. Cole was right. I would hate myself forever if something happened to them. I looked back up at Cole and gave him a shaky smile. "You're right," I agreed, "I should say goodbye. I guess I should go soon. It's getting kind of late and you guys are leaving soon right?" He nodded his head in affirmation. " Well. Thanks again. I realize it probably wasn't all that fun dealing with my blubbering but you helped me a ton. I feel so much better."

Cole tilted his head slightly to the side in contemplation. "And that is enough," was all he said in his usual fashion. I smiled at his typical Cole behavior. Before I could lose my nerve I closed the distance between us I stepped up to him on my tippy toes and kissed him softly on the cheek. His face was warm and silky smooth for the moment our skin connected. I backed away and looked up a a speechless Cole standing there with wide eyes.

"That's for luck," I said breathless in embarrassment as I walked backwards to the door, "You better come back tomorrow okay? And in one piece too. Jade isn't the only death that would make me sad." I reached the door and opened it. I glanced back once more before I shut the door behind me. Standing in the middle of the room with one hand pressed gently against the cheek I kissed was the most compassionate and caring best friend/spirit I ever knew. I smiled to myself as the door clicked shut and I stepped out into the cold night in search of my friends. I felt the lightest I had in days.

oOo

You guys have no idea how difficult it was for me to write this chapter. Because I wanted there to be a scene with Cole and Alice before they went to close the breach but I also wanted it to be believable. I hope I did it justice because I'm worried I didn't. I would really appreciate feedback on this chapter because I just don't know.

Also a shout out to Lonely Violet Lacey for pointing out that Varric is spelled with two r's and Jose's accent. I really should have known that. I have no excuse except that I'm an idiot.

Anyway thanks so much for your support and reviews! It makes my day when I see that someone actually enjoys my writing. You guys have a fantastic day and I'll see you next time my dear readers.


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